The Confinement - The Day I Washed My Hair (Officially) and My Confinement Nanny

Today is actually Day 16 of the confinement. 2 weeks have passed and life has been pretty routine. As far as possible I would like to rest but sometimes I felt really uncomfortable especially when I did not get to wash my hair since the day of discharge. I have been tying up my hair to prevent over-perspiration. But I could only hold it that long.

Fortunately my confinement nanny officially granted me a "day off" and FINALLY by Day 13 (last Friday), I was able to wash my mane!!!!! You can imagine how relieved and happy I felt that day. And bonus, that day was quite a windy and cooling day!!! What a perfect combination! Even though I know I am not supposed to be exposed to the wind and direct fan, etc, I would just "try my luck" and if no one lectures me, I will continue to enjoy the cool air. Life is good again. My hair was oily and my scalp itched a little. I was counting down to the "Wash Hair" day. But because I was having the post-natal massage which my tummy needed to be wrapped with the cloth, I was not able to even shower! For those 3 days with binded stomach, I could only wipe myself. Can you imagine how "incompletely clean" I felt? It was terrible and I did not even feel like lying down on the bed. But staying in the air-con bedroom seemed to be the only choice. Now, I am thinking how to negotiate for another "Wash Hair" day. Perhaps I could convince my nanny to let me wash one more time before baby's first month?

Aunty Baozhu was quite funny, she reminded me not to "play" in the shower; wash my hair and shower quickly. Once done, she would rub the "chinese white wine" on the temples of my head. Deep inside I was feeling a little guilty when she was rubbing the wine on my head as she was so caring, yet I was having the time of my life showering to the max. Aunty Baozhu is really nice and motherly. Initially I wasn't used to having a stranger in the house (like how I remember the last confinement 5 years ago); I grew to like Aunty Baozhu very much. She is a nice lady to chat with and she is very easy-going. We chatted about families, the lifestyle, etc. I noticed that she is a lady who is very capable and tough. She was strong to take on tough jobs, yet raise her 4 children. She is also a very jovial and simple person. I think I am going to miss her when the confinement ends. She has been a good help and she manages baby well. Her cooking also suits my taste buds, cos they tasted similar to my mama's cooking. So to me, though sometimes the meals are served a little late, I am fine with it because she has to do a lot of chores alone. And when the baby is a little cranky, she has to put down the chores and tend to the baby, that takes time. Argh, can I continue to engage Aunty Baozhu some more?!?!

My dinner when hubby and Evans went out for their USS family day

Evans's Preschool Assignment - Giraffe

Getting the boy involved in his own craftwork

As usual during every school holiday, the school will give the kiddos assignments and they would need to submit them when school reopens. This time, his 2 assignments were 

1. Wild Animal
2. Your Favourite Local Food

We are supposed to make use of recyclables to do these 2 things. My mama helped me with the the local food and made a plate of Chee Cheong Fun while I helped to work on the Wild Animal. 

Initially Evans wanted to make a tiger but then I really don't know how to proceed with it with the materials I found at home. So I convinced him to make a Giraffe instead. Though some may comment it looks more like a horse, I think it is good enough for his homework. It can be a little challenging to get him involved in the craftwork especially when I am not in the full alert mode. I am tired and just want to get it over and done with. Nonetheless I tried to make him responsible for minor touches to the Giraffe like the spots, the tail and the legs. So yah, another creation from the recyclables. His homework really tests my creativity and flexibility.

The Confinement - A Week Has Passed

Last Sunday I just gave birth to my lil xiao b. And today already marks the 9th day of my confinement. Though I think my confinement lady, Aunty Baozhu has been a great help, I am not enjoying the fact that I could not do a full-fledged bath and could not wash my hair until day 12. While day 12 is just a few days away, today I started my massage session which my flabby tummy has been wrapped up very tightly which means I cannot bath!!!!! I have been staying in my air con room the whole time because I wanted to minimise perspiring. The sweat will irritate me mentally and also might make me wanna scratch my body. So sorry for not being environmental friendly but I am trying my best to make myself comfy and happy.

What I enjoy so far at confinement are hubby coming back from work, Evans and mama visiting me, chatting with aunty baozhu and getting rest as and when I wanted to. Almost feel like a lousy mother by cooping in my room but I am tired from the pumping of milk and probably the unknown stress I am giving myself.

1st confinement night, I woke up almost every hour for xiao b to latch on. Every latching started to hurt and I tried to persevere by adjusting my position and trying to get him to latch correctly. I failed because it got more painful and if baby always had to wake up every other hour for feeding, it was a sign of bad latching. I was disappointed with myself. I felt very lousy for not being able to do something which I thought every mother should know how to do. I was still rather confident when I did it during the 1st night at the hospital. I was thinking this felt amazing and convenient, though I was also thinking I might need to do extra by pumping out excess milk too. But I guess I think too much and way ahead. The reality was the latching didn't work. I got to start pumping diligently to keep up the supply. I was so worried I couldn't produce enough milk for the baby because we did not buy any formula milk. Guess that was the stress I gave myself. I felt like "why am I so lousy? Can't even supply enough milk for my baby..." See, I knew this thing before birth, I understood breastfeeding was hard, I knew not all mothers could produce enough milk but when it happened to me, I couldn't help but feel depressed. I think I cried a lot more during this confinement as compared to the time when I was having Evans. My tear tap is now loose. Every little moving scenes or thoughts will make me tear. Even when Evans was begging to stay with me in tears, I started to cry with him too. Silly me.

Then the engorgement came. The pumping output was only 20 ml but breasts still felt full and hard. They hurt and were sensitive. I got to resort to frozen cabbage method to reduce milk so that I would feel the engorgement. After a couple of application of cabbage, which stinked the room, the engorgement stayed. It turned out that it took a while for the effect to take place. During the pump after midnight, the supply reduced greatly. And I started to pump more regularly but I tried to go easy on myself. So sometimes when I heard comments like "oh the baby is hungry again." I will just tell myself it is ok, there is always formula milk. Let the baby be full first while I work on the supply. It helps to have supportive husband and confinement nanny. They made me feel better about myself.

Time actually flies... only 19 days more to go for the confinement to end. I will need to prepare myself mentally if I could take up the role to take care of a baby again. Of course it would be easier with my mama's support. But I also hope to be able to do this together with hubby. Got to think of the possible arrangement. Anyway, I don't want to stress myself with anything else. I just want to take good care of my body (which is why I have been very obedient to follow the rules of confinement) and up my milk supply for the health of xiao b. 其他的， 一步一步来。I got this from my confinement nanny who is a jovial and optimistic lady. She had a tough life before and now she is blessed with 4 kids and grandchildren. She always said what matters is our health and being happy. Simple life.

When Xiao B just reached home from the hospital stay

The Hospital Stay

Hubby said the time which Xiao B was borne helped to maximise the hospital stay. The 3D2N stay in the hospital is probably the most enjoyable part for me because it is the time for me to worry about nothing and just rest. The only thing which I need to do was to breastfeed and probably to entertain some guests. This time round, I did not expect a lot of guests so I did have my share of rest. It was enjoyable for me especially after the short and epidural-less labour, I felt "normal" and mobile within the same day, though the stitches still hurt when I move. So for the first day, I practically stuck to my bed most times.

Hubby upgraded me to the premium single room 521, the exact same room when I had Evans, minus the extra bed because hubby did not stay overnight. I still remember when I was wheeled to the room, hubby was with me all the way. I felt really relieved when I saw his face when I was being wheeled into the ward. We had a short chat then hubby went back home to relieve my bro and he also wanted to bring Evans to Heguru for his lesson before bringing him to see me. Actually I was hoping my parents and bro could visit me early but my parents came only after lunch.

I was enjoying my personal time when hubby left. I watched OKTO so that I could feel like I was with Evans at home. It was Robocar Poli at 9am but somehow I did not get to watch the show without interruption by the different hospital staff, bringing me medicine; updating me on baby; bringing me food; etc. And I was pretty tired, I did fall asleep on and off. But I was very happy to be able to eat shortly after the birth! Some snapshots of my confinement meals in the hospital:

 

The bee tai mak breakfast, right after my delivery

TMC's signature fish soup, very delicious indeed!!!

I think this was lunch.

The staff also pushed the baby into my room and baby spent some alone time with me, sleeping throughout. Good boy for letting mama having a peaceful time eating and watching TV. :)

"Unbroken"

During the stay, I tried latching on for about every 3 hours. And I was very glad to experience it again and it felt good to be able to direct feed the baby. And he seemed to be suckling well, just that tend to fall asleep but not as sleepy as Evans. I think the effect of epidural was quite prominent. This Xiao B was more alert during feeds. But my pride to be able to latch on was short-lived. The more I latched on, the more pain I felt. I realised I did not do it very correctly even though the nurses were encouraging and mentioned I was doing it well. But the pain told me that I did not do it well. Even so, every night I still looked forward to the latching time even though it meant interrupted sleep every 3 hours. I even prepared myself on the 2nd night to make sure I was ready for the breastfeeding but in the end, baby came in later and I fell asleep. LOL.

Oh another thing I looked forward to was my hubby and Evans's visit. Though I had enjoyed the alone time, I still looked forward to them accompanying me. I remembered one morning, hubby came without Evans and he had to be on laptop and take some work calls. I was glad, because he was with me. :) Sounds like I was a little needy? Or maybe I sensed the challenges ahead so I needed some advanced support. :S

I love this shot, Evans first visited me at the hospital

Evans loved to visit me and he liked TMC and commented it felt like a hotel room. He was walking in the room barefoot as if he was in a hotel. He is a sweetheart and he kept saying he wanted to keep me company. The first night, he couldn't bear to leave me and was in tears when he said he wanted to stay overnight with me. It took me a while to convince him that I would be alone here and it was only for patient, papa was not staying over too. Though I must say, I felt a little lonely when they left after dinner. :(  The same feeling I had when I said goodbye to hubby and Evans on the 2nd night, at the lift lobby. When hubby told me he might be coming back to stay overnight, I was a little happy inside but I knew it would be bad for his back if he were to sleepover. But in the end he didn't come back as he brought Evans back home to sleepover. Yah, slightly disappointed but I think it was better for him.

The earnest look when visiting me

The last morning, Evans came to pick me up for home

Very soon, when the last morning came, I really could not bear to leave because I enjoyed having to worry about anything else except latching. And I thought being in the hospital was the safest place and I need not have to worry about the baby. But be realistic, I need to leave the comfort zone. And thankfully, my buddy Rain came and she helped us entertain Evans and also carry some stuff. Really appreciative!

Thanks Rain for helping us take this shot!

Up next I should be talking about my confinement. I am still in my first week of confinement, and it has been an emotional roller coaster ride, especially the first few days. Will catch up later...

The Labour

5 Jun 2016, around 4 to 4.30pm
I suddenly woke up, maybe had the urge to pee. I couldn't remember if I did walk out of the room to pee but think I did. Went back to the room where Evans was undisturbed.

I couldn't sleep. After a short while, the urge to poop came and I went into the master toilet. I did clear my bowels but the stomach pain became cramp-like and acute when I stood up. I felt like going back on the toilet but when I did, the pain got worse. It just got worse each time I stood or sat or bended or whatever. I woke hubby up and he jumped out of the bed. I called the hospital line to check if I was in labour. Yes silly me. Nurse said she couldn't assess me over the phone. I silly, thought she could tell from my voice. Without further ado, hubby activated my bro and we got ready to move out. I told hubby if we should wait for my bro. While I felt a bit uneasy to leave Evans alone, the pain I had was killing me, every inch of it... Hubby just said this was the risk he was willing to take and off we went.

5am on the road.... I was extremely thankful because traffic was smooth. Hubby had to drive and to tolerate with a woman in labour when driving was NO JOKE. I couldn't stop fidgeting and moaning in pain. I breathed loudly and moved my butt and unbuckled / buckled seatbelt. Just wanted to distract myself from the excruciating pain. Forgot that it was like that for the first labour. I really pitied hubby for bearing with the stress. After 15min, I could barely walk but I had to. I dashed to the delivery ward with nonstop moaning and begged the nurses to help.

They quickly put me on delivery bed and somehow changed me into the hospital gown while I was struggling in pain. One kept telling me to keep my legs straight and she said it very firmly and all I could do was try. They told me "DO NOT PUSH YET..." But the stomach muscle seemed to be out of my control, the body was telling the mind to push. When one nurse said she could not see the baby's heartbeat, I was very concerned. I tried to do everything instructed, including the DO NOT PUSH even though it really seemed impossible. I did a lot of self talk in my head: MOLLY YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU MUST DO THIS. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! It was a relief to see Doctor Tan reached the labour ward so soon at this wee hour. She looked serious but steady.

I was asked to turned to the left first and yes trying to hold my legs down and straight and trying to breathe loud and REEEELAX. I was wondering where hubby was. He later told me the Nurses asked him to stay out of the room first. But luckily he came in when I was asked to push. FINALLY I could push!!!!! Like passing motion, I had to take in deep breathe and then tuck my chin towards my chest  and push and I was not supposed to let out any sound. Just focused my energy to push downwards. Any tilting of the head or chin was not allowed. All I saw was the nurse signalling to me No sound, head straight... Oh my it was stressful but I was focused, wanting to get it over and done with! I took my pace and took in a deep breathe and push with one breathe as long as I could. Hubby was next to me, holding my hand.

After.... 4 pushes? Around there, I felt a big chunk coming out of me. I felt that the body opened up to push the baby out. He was out, fast but quiet. The doctor and Nurses tended to the baby for a good 5 min while I was left hanging there with legs still spreaded and wondering what was happening. No one was attending to me. I asked if baby was ok, no one answered. Hubby told me to let the doctor do her job. What he didn't tell me was he saw the doctor and Nurses were trying to resuscitate the baby by massaging the baby's heart area, rubbing his arms and legs....

I waited patiently with hubby holding my hand. I could catch a sight of baby moving slightly, I could hear baby whimpering a bit. After that, baby finally let out a loud cry! We were relieved. He was perfect and he came out pretty clean.

Our 2nd little boy was finally borned, 5.30 am Sunday 5 Jun. He weighed 2.95kg and was 50 cm long.

Doctor then had time to tend to me after settling the baby. But she asked me when I felt the pain and what the interval was like. I told her there was no interval but she said it was not possible. She said I should have come to the hospital once the pain started. No more calling. I thought she must be "lecturing" me because any later would be bad. She went on to stitch my wound and man, it was one of the more uncomfortable experience. Ok it was not as painful as I thought without epidural but it stung when the stitch went deeper in. Could feel the needle prickling and the sewing... .... Just wish to go to my ward soon. I wanna enjoy the Hospital stay as soon as possible. And I was very glad hubby was with me the whole time.

Hubby also appreciated the short labour process, all took place in an hour and without epidural.
I was amazed by the speed of things and how I overcame the pain which was then considered
unbearable.  On retrospect, I am very thankful of things happening, early in the morning when hubby was with me. And that we managed to reach hospital in time for a safe delivery. It was very dangerous for the baby if we were late. I can't imagine if it was during the peak hours, or it happened when I was alone, or I was alone with Evans...it would be terrible coping.

I am extremely thankful for what happened for my 2nd birth experience. It was painful, no doubt but it was quick and I finally got to experience birth without epidural! This was something in my mind... Was considering to go through this without epidural but not very confident. This scenario left me no choice. I did it.

To my little guy, thank you for giving me a short hard time and thank you for being strong.

To my elder boy Evans, thank you for not freaking out when you couldn't find me at home. Also thank my brother for rushing down so that I could have a peace of mind to do my laborious job!

To my big guy, thank you for staying with me and being encouraging. Also staying calm when I was struggling in pain on our way to the hospital. <3

Gynae Checkup at Week 38

Not much update since the check up last week. Just that I gained more than 1 kg and baby gained 0.18kg (now he is 3.18kg). Last checkup, I lost 1 kg and now I gained it back. Oops. Still thought I had it the easy way to give my reserves to the little one!

Doctor checked and said the same; the baby is moving downwards but still quite free to move around and she said perhaps need one more week. I told her I felt that my stomach is still quite "up" but she said it was moving down. We shall monitor.

At this point, I am feeling HOT and WARM every second, unless I am in my air condition at 24 degree and double fan mode. If not a normal 25 degrees would just maintain my body heat. And I am not even using blanket. Sitting in front of a full blast fan doesn't work for long. My back and legs will be "stained" with perspiration in no time. I do not remember such experience when I was having Evans. But all is well, I told little bb boy to stay in there longer, so that I can finish more work. :) It's just that the waiting has now become more "routine" and it almost feels like the pregnant stomach is a norm and I am not paranoid about any "signs" any more, as long as I don't feel any abdominal pain. What I am having now is abdominal rashes from my scratching, from the heat, from the hormones.

Looks gross...

Itchy belly at Week 38

Last Stretch to Meeting the Little One

Thanks to my understanding boss and colleagues, I was able to work from home so as to minimize walking/travelling. I am feeling the weight of the little one more and more each day and he is certainly heavier than Evans when Evans was borne at Week 37.

Now I am at my Week 38. Last night was not a good sleep for me. Every toss and turn on the bed was a strain and it took me a lot of effort to just switch from one side to another. It felt like I was carrying weights everytime I needed to move or shift. Having read that sleeping on the left during pregnancy is good so I tried to keep that position but after a while it was strenuous for my back and tummy. So I needed to shift around.

Though Doctor mentioned that he should come any time soon, my stomach still looks pretty "up". Shall see what Doctor says tomorrow.

I am just being thankful for the support from my office, and I am able to continue working at the comfort of my home. The plain waiting for the arrival of Baby 2.0 will be too bored and meaningless.

I am not sure if I am mentally prepared for his arrival but I am definitely waiting and thinking if any sign is THE SIGN. I was joking with my colleagues, it might turn out that the baby is a over-stayer! Haha. Just wish for a smooth and quick delivery.