Catch Up with Aunty Baozhu

Met up with Aunty Baozhu, my confinement lady yesterday after lunch. Brought mama, Eden and Evans along. It was such a nice gathering. Has been months since we met. Love chatting with her as she is ever so jovial.

Her daughter Iris was there too and she is also very nice and could tell she likes kids from the way she interacted with the 2 boys.

Initially thought of bringing them to Délifrance as the seating seemed comfy but remembered Aunty and mama are not into "angmo" coffees so impromptu, I quickly googled "yakun", thankfully there is one at Century Square! And seats were just available for us!

Aunty Baozhu is getting popular as she has 2 upcoming confinement jobs! One of which is my bro's friend, giving birth in Dec. Going to be busy.

Mama also had a good chat with her. It just felt really nice. It would have been better if Eden did not whine (as he wanted to sleep).

Throwback to "Bringing The Boys to the Airport"

Brought my boys to the airport to fetch bro last Friday 21 Oct. He was back from Vietnam. It was my 1st time bringing them out. A little nervous about it because it was Eden's 1st time in the carrier and he was already a little sleepy when we went out.

Though it was not all smooth, I enjoyed the afternoon out with them. We were an hour earlier than his arrival and I was hungry, so we went for Mac. Evans was cooperative and it was easy especially after Eden fell asleep in the carrier, even though it was only for a few minutes.

What made the outing not so smooth were Eden's on and off crying  (probably discomfort from the carrier or lack of sleep) and Evans's repeatedly whining about jiu jiu taking so long and then being very hungry (at 6pm). I couldn't bring him for food because it would spoil his appetite for dinner. So... luckily finally bro arrived and we got home.

Will try to do this some other time when Eden is more adapted to the carrier.

Same Room, Different Babies

As I slowly and quietly turned the door handle down to go out of the room (to get my pump parts), I suddenly recalled doing the same when Evans was sleeping with me in the same room. Realised how things are different now and how time passes. My baby (Evans) is now a big boy and his words are very different, but still cute most times.

Now Eden is sleeping in the cot in the same room but very soon, the cot will be too small for him. Very soon, he will need a bigger space to toss and roll. Seeing other newborns or younger babies also made me realise Eden is no longer a newborn. One part of me really wishes him to grow up faster so that I have fewer things to pack and do... but another part of me reminisces his birth and how he was as a new baby.

I'm wide awake after my pumping session while Eden is stretching and tossing in his little cot. I better try to catch some sleep before the whole cycle starts.

十年。。。你还好吗？主题曲 《最美的时光》

<最美的时光 >
歌手: 沈志豪

是否有一段时光
让你想到就心酸
为了爱曾经什么 都不管

我们用青春 去交换疯狂
让日子难忘
却忘了
学会原谅

我们其实都一样
用委屈成全梦想
微笑不想太轻易 被看穿

如果能重来
你是否还会
认定就不放
还是只想 
找个人相伴

当回忆在夜里不停回放
卸下疲惫和不安
开始懂得 享受平凡的陪伴

当幸福回到最初的模样
谁在你身旁
那些远方 一直都在手上

我们其实都一样
用委屈成全梦想
微笑不想太轻易 被看穿

如果能重来
你是否还会 认定就不放
还是只想 找个人相伴

当回忆在夜里不停回放
卸下疲惫和不安
开始懂得 享受平凡的陪伴
当幸福回到最初的模样
谁在你身旁
原来简单
是最美的时光

当回忆。。在夜里不停回放
卸下疲惫和不安
开始懂得 享受平凡的陪伴
就当幸福回到那最初的模样
谁在你身旁
那些远方
一直都在手上

是否有一段时光

============\
I remember the dramas I watched during confinement because I have the time and having to watch them every night during the "confined" days give me even deeper impression. The Channel 8 drama aired during my 1st confinement was 阿娣，by Zoe Tay and Chen Hanwei. Kit Chan sang its theme song 倔强。I remember humming the song to rock Evans to sleep. Haha!

This time round, Channel 8 is showing 十年。。。你还好吗. I am not really a fan of the show because I feel kind of depressed watching the plot. And I just feel that with Rui En putting on the extra kilos, it was not "appealing" to watch, even though she was fitting into the character as a simple "housewife" but to me, it was not very necessary. Anyway, its theme song comes usually after the show ends. So I caught it one time and I thought the song is rather nice "got feel". I like the tune, the voice and the feelings it gives. Then as I listen to it every night, I take note of the lyrics on and off. And I find the lyrics meaningful. Very sentimental to me and also a reflective piece for us to stop and think about it. The song reflects the plot and I think it brings out the questions we have at times, especially we are feeling low.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v80a0Ibk_K8

The Hospital Stay

Hubby said the time which Xiao B was borne helped to maximise the hospital stay. The 3D2N stay in the hospital is probably the most enjoyable part for me because it is the time for me to worry about nothing and just rest. The only thing which I need to do was to breastfeed and probably to entertain some guests. This time round, I did not expect a lot of guests so I did have my share of rest. It was enjoyable for me especially after the short and epidural-less labour, I felt "normal" and mobile within the same day, though the stitches still hurt when I move. So for the first day, I practically stuck to my bed most times.

Hubby upgraded me to the premium single room 521, the exact same room when I had Evans, minus the extra bed because hubby did not stay overnight. I still remember when I was wheeled to the room, hubby was with me all the way. I felt really relieved when I saw his face when I was being wheeled into the ward. We had a short chat then hubby went back home to relieve my bro and he also wanted to bring Evans to Heguru for his lesson before bringing him to see me. Actually I was hoping my parents and bro could visit me early but my parents came only after lunch.

I was enjoying my personal time when hubby left. I watched OKTO so that I could feel like I was with Evans at home. It was Robocar Poli at 9am but somehow I did not get to watch the show without interruption by the different hospital staff, bringing me medicine; updating me on baby; bringing me food; etc. And I was pretty tired, I did fall asleep on and off. But I was very happy to be able to eat shortly after the birth! Some snapshots of my confinement meals in the hospital:

 

The bee tai mak breakfast, right after my delivery

TMC's signature fish soup, very delicious indeed!!!

I think this was lunch.

The staff also pushed the baby into my room and baby spent some alone time with me, sleeping throughout. Good boy for letting mama having a peaceful time eating and watching TV. :)

"Unbroken"

During the stay, I tried latching on for about every 3 hours. And I was very glad to experience it again and it felt good to be able to direct feed the baby. And he seemed to be suckling well, just that tend to fall asleep but not as sleepy as Evans. I think the effect of epidural was quite prominent. This Xiao B was more alert during feeds. But my pride to be able to latch on was short-lived. The more I latched on, the more pain I felt. I realised I did not do it very correctly even though the nurses were encouraging and mentioned I was doing it well. But the pain told me that I did not do it well. Even so, every night I still looked forward to the latching time even though it meant interrupted sleep every 3 hours. I even prepared myself on the 2nd night to make sure I was ready for the breastfeeding but in the end, baby came in later and I fell asleep. LOL.

Oh another thing I looked forward to was my hubby and Evans's visit. Though I had enjoyed the alone time, I still looked forward to them accompanying me. I remembered one morning, hubby came without Evans and he had to be on laptop and take some work calls. I was glad, because he was with me. :) Sounds like I was a little needy? Or maybe I sensed the challenges ahead so I needed some advanced support. :S

I love this shot, Evans first visited me at the hospital

Evans loved to visit me and he liked TMC and commented it felt like a hotel room. He was walking in the room barefoot as if he was in a hotel. He is a sweetheart and he kept saying he wanted to keep me company. The first night, he couldn't bear to leave me and was in tears when he said he wanted to stay overnight with me. It took me a while to convince him that I would be alone here and it was only for patient, papa was not staying over too. Though I must say, I felt a little lonely when they left after dinner. :(  The same feeling I had when I said goodbye to hubby and Evans on the 2nd night, at the lift lobby. When hubby told me he might be coming back to stay overnight, I was a little happy inside but I knew it would be bad for his back if he were to sleepover. But in the end he didn't come back as he brought Evans back home to sleepover. Yah, slightly disappointed but I think it was better for him.

The earnest look when visiting me

The last morning, Evans came to pick me up for home

Very soon, when the last morning came, I really could not bear to leave because I enjoyed having to worry about anything else except latching. And I thought being in the hospital was the safest place and I need not have to worry about the baby. But be realistic, I need to leave the comfort zone. And thankfully, my buddy Rain came and she helped us entertain Evans and also carry some stuff. Really appreciative!

Thanks Rain for helping us take this shot!

Up next I should be talking about my confinement. I am still in my first week of confinement, and it has been an emotional roller coaster ride, especially the first few days. Will catch up later...

The Labour

5 Jun 2016, around 4 to 4.30pm
I suddenly woke up, maybe had the urge to pee. I couldn't remember if I did walk out of the room to pee but think I did. Went back to the room where Evans was undisturbed.

I couldn't sleep. After a short while, the urge to poop came and I went into the master toilet. I did clear my bowels but the stomach pain became cramp-like and acute when I stood up. I felt like going back on the toilet but when I did, the pain got worse. It just got worse each time I stood or sat or bended or whatever. I woke hubby up and he jumped out of the bed. I called the hospital line to check if I was in labour. Yes silly me. Nurse said she couldn't assess me over the phone. I silly, thought she could tell from my voice. Without further ado, hubby activated my bro and we got ready to move out. I told hubby if we should wait for my bro. While I felt a bit uneasy to leave Evans alone, the pain I had was killing me, every inch of it... Hubby just said this was the risk he was willing to take and off we went.

5am on the road.... I was extremely thankful because traffic was smooth. Hubby had to drive and to tolerate with a woman in labour when driving was NO JOKE. I couldn't stop fidgeting and moaning in pain. I breathed loudly and moved my butt and unbuckled / buckled seatbelt. Just wanted to distract myself from the excruciating pain. Forgot that it was like that for the first labour. I really pitied hubby for bearing with the stress. After 15min, I could barely walk but I had to. I dashed to the delivery ward with nonstop moaning and begged the nurses to help.

They quickly put me on delivery bed and somehow changed me into the hospital gown while I was struggling in pain. One kept telling me to keep my legs straight and she said it very firmly and all I could do was try. They told me "DO NOT PUSH YET..." But the stomach muscle seemed to be out of my control, the body was telling the mind to push. When one nurse said she could not see the baby's heartbeat, I was very concerned. I tried to do everything instructed, including the DO NOT PUSH even though it really seemed impossible. I did a lot of self talk in my head: MOLLY YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU MUST DO THIS. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! It was a relief to see Doctor Tan reached the labour ward so soon at this wee hour. She looked serious but steady.

I was asked to turned to the left first and yes trying to hold my legs down and straight and trying to breathe loud and REEEELAX. I was wondering where hubby was. He later told me the Nurses asked him to stay out of the room first. But luckily he came in when I was asked to push. FINALLY I could push!!!!! Like passing motion, I had to take in deep breathe and then tuck my chin towards my chest  and push and I was not supposed to let out any sound. Just focused my energy to push downwards. Any tilting of the head or chin was not allowed. All I saw was the nurse signalling to me No sound, head straight... Oh my it was stressful but I was focused, wanting to get it over and done with! I took my pace and took in a deep breathe and push with one breathe as long as I could. Hubby was next to me, holding my hand.

After.... 4 pushes? Around there, I felt a big chunk coming out of me. I felt that the body opened up to push the baby out. He was out, fast but quiet. The doctor and Nurses tended to the baby for a good 5 min while I was left hanging there with legs still spreaded and wondering what was happening. No one was attending to me. I asked if baby was ok, no one answered. Hubby told me to let the doctor do her job. What he didn't tell me was he saw the doctor and Nurses were trying to resuscitate the baby by massaging the baby's heart area, rubbing his arms and legs....

I waited patiently with hubby holding my hand. I could catch a sight of baby moving slightly, I could hear baby whimpering a bit. After that, baby finally let out a loud cry! We were relieved. He was perfect and he came out pretty clean.

Our 2nd little boy was finally borned, 5.30 am Sunday 5 Jun. He weighed 2.95kg and was 50 cm long.

Doctor then had time to tend to me after settling the baby. But she asked me when I felt the pain and what the interval was like. I told her there was no interval but she said it was not possible. She said I should have come to the hospital once the pain started. No more calling. I thought she must be "lecturing" me because any later would be bad. She went on to stitch my wound and man, it was one of the more uncomfortable experience. Ok it was not as painful as I thought without epidural but it stung when the stitch went deeper in. Could feel the needle prickling and the sewing... .... Just wish to go to my ward soon. I wanna enjoy the Hospital stay as soon as possible. And I was very glad hubby was with me the whole time.

Hubby also appreciated the short labour process, all took place in an hour and without epidural.
I was amazed by the speed of things and how I overcame the pain which was then considered
unbearable.  On retrospect, I am very thankful of things happening, early in the morning when hubby was with me. And that we managed to reach hospital in time for a safe delivery. It was very dangerous for the baby if we were late. I can't imagine if it was during the peak hours, or it happened when I was alone, or I was alone with Evans...it would be terrible coping.

I am extremely thankful for what happened for my 2nd birth experience. It was painful, no doubt but it was quick and I finally got to experience birth without epidural! This was something in my mind... Was considering to go through this without epidural but not very confident. This scenario left me no choice. I did it.

To my little guy, thank you for giving me a short hard time and thank you for being strong.

To my elder boy Evans, thank you for not freaking out when you couldn't find me at home. Also thank my brother for rushing down so that I could have a peace of mind to do my laborious job!

To my big guy, thank you for staying with me and being encouraging. Also staying calm when I was struggling in pain on our way to the hospital. <3

Missing My Holiday

This always happens to me after any holiday trips.

It has been 2 weeks since the Phuket family trip but I am still missing it somehow.

Like just last Saturday, I was thinking 2 weeks ago, what was I doing at that point of time.... Packing? Getting ready? Waiting at the MRT station??? Then when it's Sunday like today, I would be thinking where we were now 2 weeks ago... 

I don't know if there is any term for this kinda reminisce but one thing's for sure, I am really missing my holiday with my family...