I Wish I Am A Baby Whisperer

I really wish I can decode baby's language. When they cry this way, what do they want. When they refused to sleep, how can I lure them to... I am sure many papas and mamas wish for the same thing. Lately I am getting a lil impatient with lil Eden, especially when he is crying for "no reason". I wish I know why. Sometimes it gets to a point when I really feel like throwing him on the bed and just leave him alone. Sounds bad to say that but when I feel like doing that, I am really helpless and don't know how to progress!

I then realised I did not do a good job managing myself. Personal mastery, PIES (Self care) and reframing. Too quick to react to that instance when the lil fellow fusses. And my reaction gets worse when I am tired because I am more stressed. Woah, some character building is needed, yes even at my age.

Probably because of the stress or exhaustion or irregular pumps, my milk supply seems to have dropped. So now I am trying my best to catch up.

My papa has been more hands on by helping to carry the lil one and feed him. Oh and he also carries and pats the lil one to sleep at night but sadly the lil one was not cooperative last night. Lately Eden refuses to be put into the sarong even though he shows signs of sleepiness. Once put him in, he cries as though he is in pain. I think only my mom could appease him after some coaxing. It is quite painful to make him sleep, only recently. Now I also have phobia putting him into the sarong! I wish he is the baby who can doze off on bed, am I too greedy, lol.

The theory makes it sound easy to decipher a baby's cries. So when the baby cries, it's either hunger, soiled diaper, ill, in pain, discomfort, over stimulation or tiredness. See, not easy cos they are soooo many possibilities. When we tackle the baby for the wrong guess, the baby will cry even harder and scarier. Can only say with experience, things should get better?

Every day is a new challenge.

Down with Exhaustion

What a week it has been. Starting from Evans having stomach flu, it hasn't been too rosy. 2 nights of vomiting which dirtied his mattress sheet, bolster, blanket, etc, and mama got hit by the virus after day 2 of his vomiting, last Friday was bad for me.

I thought Evans should be ok as he still seemed active but as the night came, he would start to look tired even though he did nap in the afternoon.

My heart went down when my mama came into the room at 1.15am Thursday to look for spare clothes for Evans, saying he just puked. I rushed out to see the poor boy standing in the kitchen in vomit-stained pjs, and my papa cleaning up the mess and changing out the sheet in their bedroom. I must say my parents were very systematic and did whatever to settle for the rest of the night pretty quickly. Ended up Evans slept between my parents but ultimately I saw my papa sleeping on the playmat next to the bed. Thankfully for them, Evans could go back to sleep very soon.

My heart sank when the same thing happened the next 1 plus am but this time my parents did not wake me. I found out when I came out to prepare for my pump, seeing my papa sleeping on the sofa and Evans on the bed with mama. Felt sad and concerned.

Friday morning mama caught the virus and saw doctor. She was down with the stomach flu. She was in bed the whole time so I tried to do my best to fill in but the cooking and the laundry had to be left aside. I tried to settle the 2 kiddos but the lil one wasn't quite cooperative so I didn't accomplish much. I had to ask my bro, papa and hubby to try be back earlier so that I could take a breather, at least to bathe. Sigh, felt very bad to see my mama like this. Guess what in the end I felt shivery after bath and realised I had a slight fever. Not the stomach flu but more of exhaustion and having to perspire so much without a chance to shower earlier. Might have caught a cold.

Let my papa and hubby manage the baby most times from Friday night through the weekend. I needed the rest so that I can continue to manage this coming week!

Thankfully I am much better now but am back to my-life-revolves-around-the-baby.

Another Missed Excursion

A replay of the episode when Evans has to miss a school outing cos he was not feeling well. Last time he had to miss the Changi Beach excursion due to diarrhoea,  today he has to miss the excursion to Tampines Giant due to stomach flu, similar to the last episode.

He was disappointed and so am I!  I know he has been looking forward to this day. Yesterday after school he complained about stomachache and then he couldn't eat lunch. He threw up his school's meal instead. I was thinking "oh not again.... he is going to miss the outing?!" Mama suspected he couldn't take the cabbage and carrot porridge, especially when it was rainy. Not too sure. He had a nap yesterday and woke up pretty well. Even though we didn't give him any dairy, he still complained about tummy pain on and off. My heart dropped when he vomitted at 1plus am today. His puke was on everywhere.... mattress, PJ, blanket... My parents got to spend some time cleaning up after him. But I think they are pretty organised and systematic. Cleared the mess quite fast. So ended up Evans slept with them on the bed. This time I was thinking there is a chance that he will miss the Giant trip. *sad*

At 720am Evans woke up smiley and expressed he was good to go Giant! I really hate to spoil it so I was also a lil hopeful that he was ok to go, though my mama was not comfortable. Frankly I didn't want him to miss this not cos we paid  $10 for this but more of the trip will cover topics on fruitsand vegetables, with money concept. It would be interesting for Evans! 

Mama said Evans was a lil warm, suspecting of a fever. But our thermometer measured normal. We were on the fence.... part of us wanted him to go enjoy, part of us wasn't comfortable as he might feel worse after the trip. In the end my mama still brought him to school after much begging. BUT he was sent back home because they spotted fever. No doubt Evans was very sad with tears. I appeased him that I would bring him to Giant during school holiday and we will learn about the fruits and vegetables with money concept!!! But I know he is still very disappointed.

Brought him to our usual PD and found that he has colic and stomach flu (again). So no dairy and light meals only. Poor boy boy got to eat some medicines for vomiting and stomachache. And we always have to feed with care as now it is not so easy to feed him if the medicine tastes yucky. He tends to puke. We don't want that!!!!! So standby the giam sng dee....

SIGH and it is contagious so can't be near Eden..... get well soon ah, Evans!!!!!!!!

RIP Mr S R Nathan

Last night 948pm, our former President Mr SR Nathan passed away peacefully at the age of 92.

Rest in peace, Sir.
Thank you for all your have done for our people.

Throwback to Evans's National Day Party 08 Aug

Long overdue posting because I was too busy and Evans contracted HFMD just after the party. Nonetheless just want to recap what happened at the party, for memories sake.

Evans seemed to have fun and MP Desmond Choo spoke to him a couple of times. But towards the end, could tell Evans was a lil tired. Despite that, he was still very intrigued by the development plan of Tampines, spotted in the CC. He just has a thing for maps and MRT station and directory.

A Tale of A Relatively New Mother of 2

It's close to 3pm. Finally some peace and quiet while the kids are asleep. I know it will not be for long but thought of taking this time to jot down my thoughts/grievances or whatever, so that when I read back in a few months or years, I can "reminisce" what it is like. (Oops thunder.... hopefully the kids can continue snoozing).

I just read an article which a mother shared her experience as a mother of 2. I feel so much for her, juggling her role as a working mom. It was ironically funny when she said sometimes she would just leave what she has dropped, on the floor because she was just too tired to pick it up. (Interrupted cos Evans was crying for me to accompany him for nap.)

Thunder is still roaring quite gently now but let me describe what I am doing now. One hand rocking Eden in the sarong, one hand patting Evans. On and off trying to type this post. Both are still in zzz mode.

My boys are lovely and cute. I love them but at the same time I hope I can get away from them at times. Actually more of away from Eden cos I really miss doing things with Evans. But my energy level may not be able to sustain entertaining Evans for long. When I am busy with the baby, somehow Evans will like to throw me 101 questions or share with me things he knows. Sometimes when I am stressed, I will brush him aside "Not now...". See what a nasty mommy I am. Undeniably I feel bad after that but I just can't be as zen as I wanna be. I can't help but to show the stress and impatience on my face. I just hope Evans will be understanding, which he is (most times) as he has displayed it in many instances. As for myself, perhaps to go less hard on me and take it easy. Easier said, of course. I didn't know I dread baby cries this much especially when it seems to be no solution to his cries. I guess I need to remind me that being a 2nd time mom doesn't necessarily mean I should know a lot more. What's more, it has been 5 years! Just tell myself every day is a lesson. I will learn something new about my kids and I will know them better each day.

It is normal to feel tired all the time and perhaps after a while, the body will be conditioned to handle such life. (This time, thunder woke Eden... so keep rocking!)

I feel really sweaty and oily now. Time has not come for me to take a bath. I need to feed Eden first, by right around 4pm, 45 min to go. And have to wait until my mama is free to watch the kids before I can enjoy the bath time. Goodness, can't wait to wash my hair! This is why I am not comfortable to entertain any guests at this point.

Before returning to work, I will probably get a refreshing haircut and maybe mani to get back my oldself. I believe when I feel good about myself, everything else will seem easier. This is so true when I return home from my me time, I am more patient with the kiddos. My spirit feels lighter as well.

Like the author, there are moments I miss like when I am without kids or when I have only Evans. Things were much easier. This is human, right? So I shouldn't feel guilty about it.

"Dear boys, mama just misses my own life too much but I appreciate you in my life k. Just give me more time when things get easier and we are more free to go places... we will have fun together."

Ok another thunder... maybe I should stop whining and standby for action.

Taking Care of Baby Eden

So far being a 2nd time mom is not as easy as I thought. No doubt this should be nothing new and the efforts should be "less painful" since I have done this (taking care of a baby) before. But I think the learning is never ending cos' every baby is different. Don't believe when people tell you there's not much difference in having 1 and 2 kids. It is very different lor.

With Baby Eden, I am mainly the caregiver to feed him, make him sleep, clean after his poo and bathe him everyday. At my parents' place, my focus will be on Eden while my mama focused on Evans and the rest of the household chores like cooking and laundry. Needless to say, we feel tired almost everyday. My mama will help me with Eden when I take my bath or have my meals.

There are good days when I wake up with some sparkle but those are really really rare. My eyes circles now are at the darkest ever. LOL! There are moments when I really just feel like sleeping through but there is no way because it's either Eden has waken up; time for me to pump before I feel really painful or it's time to feed. While we went through the routine everyday, the days pass by really fast. Before I know it, it's already evening when my papa and bro come home, followed by hubby who usually reaches after 9pm. Hubby helps by staying over every other night with the feedings though sometimes I wish he could take over the "shift" from evening. I know, greedy me.

Baby Eden is now 72 days old, just passed his 2 months milestone. He is starting to coo and smile more. It is funny to see him "talking" as though he is really talking sense. I love to see him smile but looking forward to the time when he can chuckle and do a lot more things rather than sleep and drink. Of course, less tantrums please. I know I am greedy and ambitious but I really wish that he could skip after mid-night feeding soon! Hubby said he is quite thankful now that he woke up once in the odd hours (3 to 4am) for feed. But I just look forward to a more normal routine, even though I may still need to wake up for pumps. 

Currently Eden is on 3 hourly milk feed and he is pretty punctual, Evans was also a punctual baby then. Evans started off with 2 hourly feed (I forgot how we survived), then as he drank more, we managed to stretch his feeds to 3 hourly. For Eden, we also started off as 2 hourly feed with each feed of about 90ml. Then we stretched him to 3 hours, now with 130ml per feed, full breast milk. With that, as a mom, I need to stay on schedule and keep milking so that he has enough to drink. There is no more formula milk to standby. Haha! But I am getting lazier, always overslept.

Looking at Eden, I can see myself in him. He looks just like me as a baby, Stunned looking eyes and standing hair. But at times I can also see Evans in him, like when he is sleeping.

Eden Boy, please be good and kind to mama. Smile more and cry less, k?

XXOXOXOXOOOXXXOOOXOXOXX

  

Singapore's Pride

History was made on 13 Aug, Singapore Time 9.12am!

Joseph Schooling, won the Gold medal in 100m Mens' Butterfly 50m race. It's not just winning, it's also setting the Olympics Record of 50:39s. It's not just breaking the OR but also winning his idol, super legend Michael Phelps. And Joseph Schooling won with 3 others at the Silver position. How cool is that, with Singapore flag on top of 3 other flags. And it was surreal when we heard the National Anthem "Majulah Singapura" played at the Victory Ceremony. All Singaporeans feel really proud, you can tell from all the Facebook feeds, they kept coming and one could easily feel the great pride and joy.

Mr Schooling received numerous congrats and also a warm welcome when he was back Singapore just this morning at 5plus am. It was so warm to see the welcome he received once the plane landed. From the water canon to so many "live" Facebook postings, he is so loved. Haha!

Happy Birthday Hubby

While it is hubby's birthday, he took half day leave just so I could take a break from the baby duties. I could go out to meet my colleagues and run some errands. Very thankful for what he did and I always look forward to my alone time, to do my own things, to meet my friends. Helps to keep my sanity and I will not show too much temper when caring for the fussy baby at times. I felt bad scolding the 2 months old but there were moments I really felt like letting it out. :(

Anyway, I treasures the time given and went to office to meet some colleagues. Had a good catch-up with Bo and he was very kind to buy me my Coke and Sandwiches! :) Great pal. Then I also went back to office to distribute the cake vouchers to those who have shown their love for Eden. Perhaps next time when I am more confident, I should bring the little baby to office to see them. 

I also went to shop for a birthday cake for hubby. Not quite satisfied seeing what they had at Bengawan, Four Leaves and Bread Talk. Luckily there is a Rive Gauche at Tampines One. Managed to get this Fruit Charlotte cake for him! I had this for my birthday at office, and it was delicious. So this time, I got it for hubby. The rest of the family enjoyed the cake too. It was refreshing with the generous fruits topping and not-too-sweet fluffy cake. 

Happy Birthday, hubby and thanks for doing this for me!!! First birthday with Baby Eden!

Good to see Evans being so cheeky and active,
recovering well from HFMD

HFMD, Finally

What?!!! Evans has HFMD?! I was utterly shocked and disappointed to hear this news from my mom on 10 Aug after she brought him to our GP.

Started off with a mild fever that subsided within a day, I thought it was nothing serious. It was just after his school's national day celebration at Tampines Changkat CC, I thought he looked unwell in the late afternoon. Then he complained of sore throat too, refusing to drink his milk. HFMD never came to my mind. I thought he just had a relapse of his previous flu/cough.

Why I felt disappointed because bro and I had planned to bring him out since it was his post national day holiday. Bro took time off but in the end, what a waste! And friends advised that I should quarantine myself and the baby from Evans. It was rather sad that I had to keep a distance away from Evans. I also forbade him to enter our room where didi usually sleeps. For a 5 year old, I must say Evans has been quite sensible. He does keep away from our room but he still can't help but to play around us, especially my brother. Once my bro is home, he will follow him like a leech, then sit with/on him. This is how much Evans likes him.

Other than the 2 blisters on his elbow and 1 blister on his buttock, the ulcers in the throat seem to have gone away as he could eat better. I wish he can recover soon because I haven't been able to give him a proper hug and kiss. I just felt bad to always remind him to stay away from didi. Hope he doesn't feel unloved but I really wanna minimise the probability of anyone else getting this HFMD.

Other than 10 aug morning, I think Evans regained his energy pretty fast. He is still active and chatty at home. Today is his Day 2 MC. Seems like a perfectly healthy boy too but blisters are still there. So looks like this lil boy needs to stay indoors for a few more days.