Catch Up with Aunty Baozhu

Met up with Aunty Baozhu, my confinement lady yesterday after lunch. Brought mama, Eden and Evans along. It was such a nice gathering. Has been months since we met. Love chatting with her as she is ever so jovial.

Her daughter Iris was there too and she is also very nice and could tell she likes kids from the way she interacted with the 2 boys.

Initially thought of bringing them to Délifrance as the seating seemed comfy but remembered Aunty and mama are not into "angmo" coffees so impromptu, I quickly googled "yakun", thankfully there is one at Century Square! And seats were just available for us!

Aunty Baozhu is getting popular as she has 2 upcoming confinement jobs! One of which is my bro's friend, giving birth in Dec. Going to be busy.

Mama also had a good chat with her. It just felt really nice. It would have been better if Eden did not whine (as he wanted to sleep).

The Confinement - The Routine

Day 19 and I have more or less grasped the routine of the confinement. Pretty much the same everyday but it depends a lot on the baby's mood. On good days, we rest more. "We" means me and my confinement nanny. If not, we will need to take turns to tend to the baby so that Aunty can do her chores promptly. But there were also times when Aunty tried not to disturb me so that I could nap a little bit.

So what is my routine?

• Pumping of milk (3 hourly if possible)

Milking like a cow (each time about 30 to 45 min)

• Sterilizing milk bottles and pump parts after every 2 pumps
• Eating my meals (I enjoyed the food Aunty cooked for me but I appreciate the breakfast for it is hassle free and I feel more "refreshed" in the morning.)
• Eating other supplementary food like red bean soup, bread/cake/biscuits (for tea time)
• Tending to crying baby when Aunty is not free 

This little one wants to be carried to sleep

I would also peek at the little one when he is finally sleeping

• Bathing (probably the time I always look forward to)
• Going online (if possible, and I think I should start to do some online shopping to distract myself from the routine and at least something I can look forward to for my package to arrive! Also I need to get some stuff for Xiao B's full month.)
• Surfing facebook/youtube/toggle while pumping
• Watching TVs (I even chatted with Aunty about the show, LOL)
• Napping (if possible)
• Chatting with Aunty during meals (If Aunty eats with me, I get to chat with her as she is a chatty and jovial person to talk to)

This pretty much sums up my daily routine (at least for the weekdays).

The Confinement - Breastfeeding and Massage

While I had phobia in breastfeeding from the experience with Evans, I tried it with Baby 2.0 straight after giving birth to him, It gave me a wonderful feeling. The first few latching was weird but not painful and because he could suckle, I was thinking direct feed could work this time! I was happy and looked forward to latch him even though it meant to wake up every 2 to 3 hours to feed him at the hospital. I guess I just prefer the closeness shared with the baby and the nurses (I would not say all of them though) were encouraging, saying I was managing the latching well. 

My happiness was shortlived. I think by the 2nd day, I felt pain and soreness. Probably because the milk supply has not kicked in full force; baby's suckle was stronger or my latching was not correct... I was pretty sure my latching was not correct after I googled. I tried to do it the right way at home but somehow it frustrated the baby and me more. And the pain increased so much that when my confinement nanny brought him to me, I was really "scared" because I was anticipating the pain to come when he started to latch. And I was even more concerned if there was bleeding, how should I continue to feed!?!? What's more we did not prepare any formula milk... so a lot of pressure when I thought about the supply and the poor latching. With the baby waking up every hour for feed also hit me with much insecurity that I was not feeding enough, The stress was eased off when hubby went to get the formula milk to tide over the period when I was trying to build my milk supply. And when the milk came in, I had engorgement. I did not want infection to happen again; I apply frozen cabbage to bring down the supply. Then I had to start from scratch to build up the supply by diligent pumping every 2 hours, with each pump of only 20ml of milk. But I think the confinement soups and drink helped me to up the supply. Now I am pumping every 3 hours (as advised by my massage lady), I could get around 90ml which was just nice for baby's one feed.

When the massage lady came, she came to massage the breasts and to see if there were any blockage. I told her I could still remember how painful it was when she first did it during my 1st pregnancy. No doubt she cleared the ducts but it came with great pain. It was a sight when I saw milk spurting out like a small fountain (Haha!). This time, when she was massaging, she said my case was not that bad just that could feel that the breasts were still "congested" at some points. I had a 4-day massage sessions with Mdm Mariam. Each was about an hour ($60 per session). After each session, she would bind my tummy with the cloth and the binder. Tight to shrink my flabby tummy which was good but my tummy would start to itch after a while. What made it worse was I could not shower with the wrap. I was less tolerant this time because I did unwrap myself at night. I recalled for the first confinement, I persevered and had the wrap all the way, because I really wanted to be back to my old size. This time round, I think comfort was more crucial. Without comfort, I could not rest properly.

Mdm Mariam was a very chatty lady and she shared with me many stories about her family and her clients. After hearing a few horror stories about her clients' breastfeeding experience, I should be relieved. And this made me realise that breastfeeding was not simple after all! While we see other mommies doing it with ease, there are also others who struggled like me! Of course direct feeding saves a lot of time but we will not be sure how much the baby is drinking and it will also take a while to wean off baby. I don't want baby to still want to latch when I go back to work because this will make it tougher for my parents to manage, right? My buddy Rain also advised me that I should think too much about other's advice, I should just decide based on what I think works for me. See, even though this is my 2nd time, I am back to the same dilemma but of course this time, I feel less guilty about not latching because I still have milk to offer to the baby. I should be thankful for that. 

My gynae, massage lady, confinement nanny encouraged me to try direct latch again because of the higher nutrients being absorbed and baby's suckle is always the best "pump" to unblock the ducts. I am a little fearful and unsure. Do I want to try it again and be prepared to sleep less and probably hurt more? Would I want to "save the trouble" to wash and sterilise bottles? Frankly to me, I think the bottles part is not too much of a hassle. Used to it and it really isn't a lot more work. So both sides to a coin. You can tell I am still in a dilemma but probably more inclined towards exclusive pumping (like how I did for Evans and lasted for 14 months). 

Ok don't think too much... we shall see.

The Confinement - The Big Brother

Though it can be a little more tiring to have Evans around (as we need to entertain his questions and all), I miss him lots when he is not around. He has been cooperative with us so far. No doubt he can be a little clingy but I think it is quite normal since he has a little brother to share our attention.

During this period I also realised Evans seems to have grown up a little, from the way he speaks. At times, he really speaks like an adult. Hah! It also means it is harder to "lie" to him as he will ask logical questions.

So far he has yet to show much affection to "didi" because I think "didi" is still a baby and is not able to play with him. But whenever possible, he will help me to take a look at the baby to see if he is asleep; or he will help to rewind the musical toy for "didi" to listen; or he will just stick around with me in the bedroom when I am pumping milk. I thought it would be awkward, having my boy next to me when I am pumping milk but it wasn't as he listened to me and did not really STARE at what I was doing. He was more concerned about setting the alarm for me to remind me of the next pump and helping me to on/off the pump. Simple pleasures. When I was pumping, he would entertain himself by reading his storybooks or playing with his abacus (with the maths questions I gave him).

It is sweet to hear him say he wants to keep me company. Especially during this period of time when I am "confined" to the house and feeling super unglam (not ready to meet anyone else), I feel loved when Evans clings to me and holds my hand. His hug also means a lot more to me because frankly I need them very much and a lot.

Evans spends the weekend nights with us so I cherish the moments when I can pat him to sleep before I wake up for a series of milk pumping duty.

People say second time is a charm cos it is easier but I don't think so when the issues faced are different. And what's more you have another elder boy to care for. Though it is not EASIER, the experience is familiar and my level of tolerance is slightly higher (or I am just staying in the air con room more). The tougher it is, the more relaxed I will feel when this phase is over. So really yearning for the normal days with normal showers and hairwash.

While I also yearn for the days when things get easier, Aunty Baozhu just chatted with me, saying all these will just be a phase. After a few months when you see the baby smiling and responding to you, you will find it all worthwhile and after a few years, you will forget about the "pain". That's true, if not, I would not have Baby 2.0 after 5 years, right? Just hope that brothers can be bonded soon and hope that Evans will be a doting elder brother whom didi will love.

Evans offered to carry didi when we were back from hospital <3

The Confinement - The Day I Washed My Hair (Officially) and My Confinement Nanny

Today is actually Day 16 of the confinement. 2 weeks have passed and life has been pretty routine. As far as possible I would like to rest but sometimes I felt really uncomfortable especially when I did not get to wash my hair since the day of discharge. I have been tying up my hair to prevent over-perspiration. But I could only hold it that long.

Fortunately my confinement nanny officially granted me a "day off" and FINALLY by Day 13 (last Friday), I was able to wash my mane!!!!! You can imagine how relieved and happy I felt that day. And bonus, that day was quite a windy and cooling day!!! What a perfect combination! Even though I know I am not supposed to be exposed to the wind and direct fan, etc, I would just "try my luck" and if no one lectures me, I will continue to enjoy the cool air. Life is good again. My hair was oily and my scalp itched a little. I was counting down to the "Wash Hair" day. But because I was having the post-natal massage which my tummy needed to be wrapped with the cloth, I was not able to even shower! For those 3 days with binded stomach, I could only wipe myself. Can you imagine how "incompletely clean" I felt? It was terrible and I did not even feel like lying down on the bed. But staying in the air-con bedroom seemed to be the only choice. Now, I am thinking how to negotiate for another "Wash Hair" day. Perhaps I could convince my nanny to let me wash one more time before baby's first month?

Aunty Baozhu was quite funny, she reminded me not to "play" in the shower; wash my hair and shower quickly. Once done, she would rub the "chinese white wine" on the temples of my head. Deep inside I was feeling a little guilty when she was rubbing the wine on my head as she was so caring, yet I was having the time of my life showering to the max. Aunty Baozhu is really nice and motherly. Initially I wasn't used to having a stranger in the house (like how I remember the last confinement 5 years ago); I grew to like Aunty Baozhu very much. She is a nice lady to chat with and she is very easy-going. We chatted about families, the lifestyle, etc. I noticed that she is a lady who is very capable and tough. She was strong to take on tough jobs, yet raise her 4 children. She is also a very jovial and simple person. I think I am going to miss her when the confinement ends. She has been a good help and she manages baby well. Her cooking also suits my taste buds, cos they tasted similar to my mama's cooking. So to me, though sometimes the meals are served a little late, I am fine with it because she has to do a lot of chores alone. And when the baby is a little cranky, she has to put down the chores and tend to the baby, that takes time. Argh, can I continue to engage Aunty Baozhu some more?!?!

My dinner when hubby and Evans went out for their USS family day

The Confinement - A Week Has Passed

Last Sunday I just gave birth to my lil xiao b. And today already marks the 9th day of my confinement. Though I think my confinement lady, Aunty Baozhu has been a great help, I am not enjoying the fact that I could not do a full-fledged bath and could not wash my hair until day 12. While day 12 is just a few days away, today I started my massage session which my flabby tummy has been wrapped up very tightly which means I cannot bath!!!!! I have been staying in my air con room the whole time because I wanted to minimise perspiring. The sweat will irritate me mentally and also might make me wanna scratch my body. So sorry for not being environmental friendly but I am trying my best to make myself comfy and happy.

What I enjoy so far at confinement are hubby coming back from work, Evans and mama visiting me, chatting with aunty baozhu and getting rest as and when I wanted to. Almost feel like a lousy mother by cooping in my room but I am tired from the pumping of milk and probably the unknown stress I am giving myself.

1st confinement night, I woke up almost every hour for xiao b to latch on. Every latching started to hurt and I tried to persevere by adjusting my position and trying to get him to latch correctly. I failed because it got more painful and if baby always had to wake up every other hour for feeding, it was a sign of bad latching. I was disappointed with myself. I felt very lousy for not being able to do something which I thought every mother should know how to do. I was still rather confident when I did it during the 1st night at the hospital. I was thinking this felt amazing and convenient, though I was also thinking I might need to do extra by pumping out excess milk too. But I guess I think too much and way ahead. The reality was the latching didn't work. I got to start pumping diligently to keep up the supply. I was so worried I couldn't produce enough milk for the baby because we did not buy any formula milk. Guess that was the stress I gave myself. I felt like "why am I so lousy? Can't even supply enough milk for my baby..." See, I knew this thing before birth, I understood breastfeeding was hard, I knew not all mothers could produce enough milk but when it happened to me, I couldn't help but feel depressed. I think I cried a lot more during this confinement as compared to the time when I was having Evans. My tear tap is now loose. Every little moving scenes or thoughts will make me tear. Even when Evans was begging to stay with me in tears, I started to cry with him too. Silly me.

Then the engorgement came. The pumping output was only 20 ml but breasts still felt full and hard. They hurt and were sensitive. I got to resort to frozen cabbage method to reduce milk so that I would feel the engorgement. After a couple of application of cabbage, which stinked the room, the engorgement stayed. It turned out that it took a while for the effect to take place. During the pump after midnight, the supply reduced greatly. And I started to pump more regularly but I tried to go easy on myself. So sometimes when I heard comments like "oh the baby is hungry again." I will just tell myself it is ok, there is always formula milk. Let the baby be full first while I work on the supply. It helps to have supportive husband and confinement nanny. They made me feel better about myself.

Time actually flies... only 19 days more to go for the confinement to end. I will need to prepare myself mentally if I could take up the role to take care of a baby again. Of course it would be easier with my mama's support. But I also hope to be able to do this together with hubby. Got to think of the possible arrangement. Anyway, I don't want to stress myself with anything else. I just want to take good care of my body (which is why I have been very obedient to follow the rules of confinement) and up my milk supply for the health of xiao b. 其他的， 一步一步来。I got this from my confinement nanny who is a jovial and optimistic lady. She had a tough life before and now she is blessed with 4 kids and grandchildren. She always said what matters is our health and being happy. Simple life.

When Xiao B just reached home from the hospital stay