The dialogue with DCD was a little unusual from the usual one. He asked me to book a different room which should not be a meeting room but more like a interactive space. He wanted to conduct an exercise with us, the group above 35 years old.
As an OD practitioner, he facilitated this session for the 6 of us. We were supposed to be paired up first. Then the question came
"What was the one notable moment from the past which made you feel extremely proud about yourself?"
I found the question familiar, probably I had that during my LSC. Anyway, I paired up with Paul, someone whom I seldom really chatted with. But I must say after the session, I got to know him a little better and actually he is quite nice to chat with. So the exercise went 1 party had to tell their story to the other. The other could only listen and not interrupt or ask any questions. After the story was shared, the listener would repeat the story back to the teller; and then we swopped. He wanted us to practice active listening.
As a listener, I found it challenging to hold back my questions to clarify what Paul wanted to tell me. I thought it was be more spontaneous if I could just ask. My mind was clouded by many questions, so I kept bringing myself back to focus on what Paul was sharing. It came across to me I was not at peace in my mind. Though I could tell back what he shared, I felt the things I could tell was limited. It could be because this was exactly what he shared or I was really muffled by my own noise. As a storyteller, it was much easier for me as I love to share my personal experience.
At the end of the session, we were supposed to share how did we feel about listening intently to the other person; and how did we feel when the other person repeat my story back. Most of us sort of re-lived that moment when we told the story and have the other party repeated it. It felt good that the other party showed interest in our proud moments. So Director led us to think about our traits of that notable moment.
Knowing what my strengths are; what gives me energy when I am doing certain things and how is it benefitting the world, and by this; it means what will people pay me for doing this (so that I can sustain myself). He drew his favourite 3 circles:
You will be extremely happy with you life and feeling blissful if what you are doing now is the pink shaded portion where all the 3 traits come together. That's why some people love their job and can do it forever. I think that works for my Director. He always said people at our age should know what we want to do with our lives and that always makes me concerned because I am really not clear and probably have no guts to pursue what I really think I like and can do it.
Having said that, the key thing is not for us to keep dwelling what I like, etc but more of keeping ourselves quiet and reflect more. Reflection, is probably one thing which I seldom practise; with the distractions around me like deadlines, kiddo, work, wants and needs. Maybe that's why I do not have that level of clarity to understand myself deeper. Director said if we want to know our strengths, ask our parents. Hmmm, I wonder if that would work for me because it would sound really awkward to my parents and brother. Haha! But seriously I doubt myself at times, about my strengths when there is no confirmation/affirmation. Confidence is on the fence. I am not sure. Like what Giin Bo mentioned, if a kid is very confident of himself and is very clear of his own identity, bullies will not be able to hurt his esteem. True but it really takes a lot for a kid to know that, isn't it. So it suddenly reminded me to be sensitive on the words used on Evans. Discipline yet not let him lose his confidence; Educate yet not let him feel incompetent.
Taking it a bit at a time... r e f l e c t i o n
